It’s there. You may not want to admit, but you know it's there. It’s inside you. It’s behind the excuses… behind the rationalizations… behind the self-deception… behind all the ways we may “spiritualize” it… but it’s definitely there. And like termites within your house or cancer within your body, if you allow it to live within you, it’s just a matter of time before it eats you up and destroys you completely.
"It" is no joke. "It" is BITTERNESS.
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I've been getting lots of questions from parents about how to insert "spiritual time" into their family life. So with that in mind, I'm reposting something I wrote 3 years ago about how we do it in our home. This certainly isn't the only way to have family spiritual time; it's just simply our way and I hope it helps you come up with a system that works for your home/family as well.
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No new post again this week as I'm in crunch time prepping for Momentum. But in the meantime, I thought I'd repost one of my most famous blog posts ever, from back in 2012. Understanding this concept has made the biggest difference in my life and I hope it can do the same for you. And I'll still be on Periscope today at 12:30 pm EST for another ASK ME ANYTHING scope.
“Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another.” Acts 15:39
In the book of Acts, chapter 15, we have the story of one of the great disputes in church history. The great apostle Paul got into a disagreement with his fellow worker Barnabas – who just happened to be his mentor as well. The disagreement occurred as the two of them were about to set sail on a pastoral journey to visit the churches which they had already established.
The dispute was over the presence of another apostle on the trip – St. Mark, the writer of the second gospel. At the time, Mark was still young and not quite ready for some of the rigors of the mission field. He was still a work in progress at the time the story takes place.
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(My brother Steve, his bride Nadia and her parents) May 2010
“Do all that is good for her. Have compassion on her and always hasten to do that which will gladden her heart.” Excerpt from Orthodox wedding ceremony
I was honored to be able to perform a wedding ceremony yesterday for two of my very close friends and it happened again. It always happens after weddings. Weddings just have a way of doing that to me.
I won’t go so far as to say I cry or anything like that, but every time I attend a wedding ceremony – especially when it’s a couple that I feel close to – I feel different afterwards. I don’t leave the same way I came. I leave with a renewed sense of appreciation at what God has given me in my wife Marianne and a rejuvenated desire to be the best husband I can be to her.
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Recently I spoke about the issue of conflict resolution in marriage. I spoke about how the goal is not to AVOID conflict, but rather to RESOLVE conflict. But the question for today is how? Practically? What are some tips or strategies we can implement to help us really resolve conflict and remove any bad feelings/bitterness within us?
As I mentioned yesterday, the starting point is setting the right goal. The goal isn’t conflict-free living; the goal is what’s best for the oneness in the relationship (obviously I am referring to a marriage relationship here, but the same principles can be applied to any relationship).
So if the goal is oneness and depth and intimacy, then compromise won’t get it done. Neither will avoidance. Those strategies only yield short term results and in the long term will lead to resentment and relational distance. Instead we need LOVING CONFRONTATION.
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