Why We All Need to Work on our Marriage

May 29, 2019

“Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:4-6

Several years ago, I did something that I strongly encourage every married couple to do – I attended a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway hosted by FamilyLife. I had heard many good things about the getaway, but I had no idea how beneficial and needed it would be.

Marriage isn’t easy. Anyone who says it is probably isn’t married. We all dream about marriage and have ideas about what it will look like one day, but rarely does the reality ever line up with the expectation. That could be due to a myriad of reasons, but the point is that marriage isn’t easy. It's hard work and if you want to have a successful marriage, you’re probably not going to stumble upon it by accident.

Are You Avoiding Conflict or Resolving It?

July 19, 2017

“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” William James

Never is that more true than in marriage. There is no such thing as a marriage that doesn’t have conflict. The only marriages that don’t have conflict are the ones where they aren’t trying – where either one or both of the people involved have simply given up.

Conflict is the most difficult part of marriage – it’s the part that can cause tremendous pain and hurt. But it doesn’t always need to be negative.

Conflict can actually strengthen a marriage (or any relationship for that matter), if we simply learn to follow some Biblical principles on how to fight fair. In fact, conflict is often times the very thing that catapults relationships to new heights and new depths.

Therefore, I believe the following: the goal of marriage is not to be conflict-free. The goal is to handle the conflict correctly when it occurs.

The Art of Loving Confrontation

November 19, 2014

Recently I spoke about the issue of conflict resolution in marriage. I spoke about how the goal is not to AVOID conflict, but rather to RESOLVE conflict. But the question for today is how? Practically? What are some tips or strategies we can implement to help us really resolve conflict and remove any bad feelings/bitterness within us?

As I mentioned yesterday, the starting point is setting the right goal. The goal isn’t conflict-free living; the goal is what’s best for the oneness in the relationship (obviously I am referring to a marriage relationship here, but the same principles can be applied to any relationship).

So if the goal is oneness and depth and intimacy, then compromise won’t get it done. Neither will avoidance. Those strategies only yield short term results and in the long term will lead to resentment and relational distance. Instead we need LOVING CONFRONTATION.

Changing Your View of Your Spouse

July 16, 2014

Your spouse is NOT your enemy. Your spouse is God’s gift to you. You and your spouse were made to be dangerous for God.

Those three statements summarize the main lessons that I took away from this past weekend’s Weekend to Remember conference that Marianne and I just attended. As promised, this week I’ll be sharing different lessons that we came away with from the conference.

But first, let me tell you how the conference started for me. It started with a strange encounter with some very different people. Last week, I blogged about how we are all different and we must learn to appreciate our differences. Well, God put that to the test this past weekend.

SPIRITUAL GROWTH | PERSONAL GROWTH | RELATIONSHIPS | ENCOURAGEMENT | STSA Church | GUEST POSTS

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